| | Do I have the right to remain silent? Because I really want to remain silent…another word from me could result mass destruction… I don’t know what’s wrong…why is everything going differently…my conscience isn’t clear…it’s so messed up that my mind can’t coordinate the proper response to a situation. This is the most important exam of the year…why can’t my head remain straight for at least another 3 weeks… My boyfriend is a lousy romantic…I can accept that…but after seeing his name and another girls name written all over his text book before…I get all woozy and so mad at him.
I mean do I have the right to be angry with him…its not my fault he hasn’t shown much affection towards me…heck I can’t be jealous…that is just not in my vocabulary My tuition teacher is driving me insane [I’m already half insane] she thinks I can do everything…I can do anything but not everything…its just unfair…okay so what David said is true…if every inch of the world was fair, we would all die and yeah its true because Jesus died to wash away our sins therefore if the world was fair we should all be dead too…somehow that philosophy doesn’t calm my angry head much…I’m so frustrated I don’t know what can cool me down… One heck of a discovery: I rely on people to be a person…its like I’ve grown to adapt to my environment so much that I’ve lost the capability to be myself without depending on my environment. If my surroundings are tensed and tempestuous then so am I. If my surroundings are joyful and pleasurable then so am I. Am I turning into a morbid, gothic person…I don’t know about gothic but I keep thinking about dying, murder, vampires, blood, eternal sleep etc. gosh, what am I turning into?? Hurricanes are name after me. I am strong. I am tempestuous. I am sophistication personified. Courage has become my second nature. I may not be able to read maps sometimes. But at least I can ask for directions. I love shoes, one pair is never enough. Dancing is my passion. There’s nothing I can’t do. Backwards and in high heels. I am woman, hear me roar. The text above was adapted from the UOB Lady’s card advertisement…the text definitely applies to me in many ways right now the only part of the text which seems to have a great déjà vu effect on my current life situation. " I may not be able to read maps sometimes.But at least I can ask for directions." Being an art major, I have the sheer tendency of looking at things beyond its optical view. Thus, if you are a normal viewer, the above sentence would mean exactly as it says. However, to me it means that sometimes a woman may lose her way through the cunning ups and down of life, but she is never afraid to gather up her courage and ask for help and advice. Now the thing is, I can’t read my own life map now, so I’m obviously lost. Question is, can I ask for directions and not get lost again? You see, I’ve told myself once that I can’t keep running to my friends every time something blows out of proportion, and I haven’t because I’ve been trying to fix things on my own. Now I just don’t know if I should ask for help. All I can say is, I don’t need anymore trouble whatsoever. My bowl of mashed up feelings and sliced up thoughts are just full to the brim…its going to overflow soon… |
| | Posted 10/3/2006 9:46 PM - 1 View - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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